I Wanna Be A Dedite

Some would say that I am not just a movie buff, but rather that I am a movie fan.

"Fan", as in its root word "fanatic", meaning: One having excessive zeal for and irrational attachment to a cause or postion.

Huh-huh, huh-huh; I wrote "zeal".

I spent my formative college years with my good friend Eric Lahti, wtaching just about any movie we could get our hands on. And some I wished we hadn't been able to. Somehow, staring at the smallish screen for hours on end changed my genetic make-up, and now I can only exist on a strict diet of movies, stale popcorn and gum found under the seats.

It's a sad life, but at least I'm not a writer.

This explains why I can quote obscure movies like Free Enterprise (a movie about Star Trek fanatics meeting Willian Shatner), Mean Guns (a movie about hit men killing each other) and Logan's Run (a movie about . . . hmmm, what the hell was Logan's Run about??).

It explains why I don't have anything close to a steady girlfriend; though I think that the Spock ears and the light saber might have something to do with that. Take note fellow fanatics: mixing universes is never attractive.

Perhaps I should get the Klingon ridge-implants I've always wanted.

This would also explain why, this last Thursday, I ditched my rock-climbing partner, stood in a sweltering bookstore with a whole mess 'o freaks, and waited two hours just to meet a man.

But not any man.

This was Bruce Campbell.

Yeppers the Bruce Campbell.

Now, because I am a movie fanatic, it's no surprise to me if you haven't heard of "The King". He was in Salt Lake City as part of a promotion tour for his book If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor (signed copies of the book are already selling for upwards of $75 on auction sites). Now, I've never read an autobiography before, because . . . well let's face it, they're boring. Why would I want to learn how much Zsa Zsa cried after slapping that cop? What could I possibly learn from Keanu Reeves about acting that I can't get from one of his movies?

Whoa. I can act. Excellent!

But Bruce Campbell, as he has done with his career, had a different take on this as well. Having starred in such prestigious films as Evil Dead, Evil Dead II Dead by Dawn, and Evil Dead III: The Army of Darkness (patterns anyone?) Bruce certainly is a self-described genre actor. But it's where some of his most famous and most often quoted lines have originated. After being teased for being "Good Ash" by the Dedite (pronounced "dead-ite") "Bad Ash", Bruce's character quips, "Good. Bad. I'm the one with the gun." he then proceeds to blow Bad Ash away with said gun. In dipping co-star Embeth Davidtz prior to a kiss, he says, "Hail to the King, baby." (hence "The King's" nickname).

But that's not all he's done.

You might recall a short lived psuedo-western series The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. where he played (you guessed it) Brisco County Jr. And of you fans of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys starring Kevin Sorbo, or Xena: The Warrior Princess starring Lucy Lawless (both directed by long-time friend Sam Raimi) will have seen Bruce as Autolycus The King of Theives (the nickname lives on). He has also had some minor roles in major films like Congo (where he gets killed shortly after the credits role) and Escape from L.A. (where he shows up and gets killed, but much later in the film). He will also be appearing in the 2002 release of Spider-Man (though thankfully he won't be killed). His most recent series, Jack of All Trades was just cancelled, but that doesn't mean the end of this legend.

Hell no!

If sales of Bruce's book are any indication of this actor's following, then The King will be with us for quite some time. I was informed by the man himself amid all the Goth-looking Dedites (yeppers, these fans have adopted the same name for the zombie characters) and the nerdy-geeks (i.e. my people) that If Chins Couls Kill had just hit #19 on the New York Times Best Seller list. This may not necessarily be so much a tribute to the worth of the peice as American Literature (no need for you English grad students to go get a copy just in case you have to answer a question) but rather the fact that everyone in the bookstore, including me, had at least two copies of the book. (No, I am not selling the second copy on Ebay, though now that I think about it . . . Kathy, I'll be needing to "borrow" your copy.)

But the book is good.

If you like that kind of humor.

Which I do.

Bruce wrote the book himself (just read it, you can tell) and he takes us through his life up to his current work and an interesting description of his fan base. It's untrue to say that he sprinkled his autobiography with amusing but interesting anecdotes . . . because they make up over 90% of the book. But it does take us through a sarcastic and humorous look at "how to" be an independent filmmaker, as well as a wanna-be cult icon. Perhaps I should send a copy to Christopher Lambert and Julian Sands. (Bonus points if you can name any of their movies OTHER than Highlander and Warlock respectively; no cheating!!)

The best part of this whole "meet Bruce" event, aside from actually shaking Bruce's hand and having a brief Scottish moment (he remarked on my name and how we "Scots need to stick together") and an even briefer Michigan moment (he was born in Royal Oak for all my friends in Michigan) was just looking at all the people with whom I am associated via Bruce. Sure, I'm used to being considered a geek and a nerd. It comes with the territory. But all the tattoed, pierced, black-clad, baby-toting freaks I truly hadn't realized shared my obsession; that's unique.

We certainly crossed a lot of lines as fans. If someone had dimmed the lights and passed out white robes, we would have looked like the audience waiting for Thulsa Doom to desend from on high to address his people.

That's how diverse this group was.

That's how diverse Bruce's appeal is.