Pod People

Every day I drive to my train station for the 90 minute journey to my home. I drive past the backside of Disney's California Adventure and as backside's go, this one is quite nice. It's also fun to say that I drive past Disneyland every day.

Ahhh, California.

Yesterday, a bumpersticker struck me as odd, and it took me some time to figure out why.

The slogan read: Is that how they drive on your planet?

I finally figured out why it bothered me. Since the question is being posed to me, and presumably to all my fellow drivers around me, and since I know that my planet is this lovely marble called Earth, that can only mean that the drivers of said vehicle were aliens!

Illegal aliens!!

While George W. Bush was gallavanting about on his food-tasting mission through Mexico and South American, the problem of illegal aliens still plague us. They're so invasive that they flaunt their status in our faces, and lord over our driving skills from their high horses . . . err, pickup trucks. Just because they've mastered inter-stellar travel doesn't make them any better at lane changes and parallel parking.

And what about anal probing?

Sure, I'm all for advancing science, but how many sphincters must you review before you've seen all there is to see? How many cows must you turn inside out before you've established that neither the humans nor the cows find this humerous anymore? How many crop circles must you create before Mel Gibson gets another drunk-driving ticket?

In short, I'm against illegal aliens. Earth for Earth-men . . . and women.