Announcement

In case you haven't heard . . . or in case you've only heard two or three times . . . we're pregnant.

By we, of course, I mean Lil, as I have neither the capacity nor the desire to go through the last-stage ritual of procreation. But Lil is up for it, and so I said God bless and I support you. And I do.

No, we don't know the sex yet. Yes, we are going to find out. No I will not name the baby after you, or, if I do, it will simply be a coincidence. No, we haven't finalized names yet. Yes, we are registered (and online too), but I've recently discovered that while not above most things, I am above pimping my blog-readers out. So you're all off the hook. Perhaps, as the time grows closer, the funding becomes short and I become desperate . . . well, more desperate, I'll put up a link and beg your indulgence.

If you're impatient, drop me a line, and I'll give you the site.

The highlight of this for me has been, of course, shopping. Somehow in my genetic makeup I have the canny ability to shop not only with an eye for the most expensive items, but also along aesthetic lines that make it twice as costly. It's an impressive skill, one that I haven't had to hone to any great degree. By contrast, my wife's desire and patience for shopping is similar to that of a Navy SEAL team: she goes in, makes a surgical strike, and is out with a minimum of effort and time involved.

So, it was no real shock when Lil asked me what kind of stroller I thought we should buy. I already had one in mind. It would be black, with big wheels, and a lift kit. It would also have a Blaupunkt DAB 54 with 15 inch Pyle Driver speakers and a Rockford Fosgate T10001BD amplifier.

I don't know exactly what all that means, but I want it.

I also want a 9-ton winch on the front, and shift-on-the-fly four-wheel drive. I'm considering a four-bottle 450-kilogram thrust/per JATO system.

Is it a bit much? Maybe. It's hard to say what kind of alien-invasion/zombie-attack situations I might find myself and my child in while out for a simple stroll. I was a Boy Scout, once upon a time, and so I take seriously the motto: Be Prepared.

If someone can forward me the mounting specifications for a Quad Fifty, I'd be deeply appreciative.