Some Headlines

US defends actions of Lebanese troops - What the hell, we haven't invaded anyone recently. Let's back a government that is bombing refugees!

Dems set war bill without Iraq timeline - But it will include a recipe for waffles and fence-sitting.

Expert in Landis doping case calls evidence "sloppy data" - "But the French are still snappy dressers!"

Sharpton: Mormon friction 'fabricated' - "But those Latter Day Saints, now them I hate," Sharpton concluded.

Tale of the 'Idol' tape: Jordin vs Blake - Or, as I like to call it, "Proof the apocalypse came and went."