Yarrr - I've been Robbed!
I will reserve my entire fault-finding mission of Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End for some other day.
Right now, I have one, count it UNO issue that has tugged at my psuedo-martial heart:
I will take this opportunity to offer you, dead reader a:
SPOILER WARNING
P
O
I
L
E
R
Alright, that's done with.
To set the stage, the two opposing fleets of pirates and the East India Trading Company have faced off in what was supposed to be the naval battle to put all other theatrical naval battles to shame wasn't happing. But that's ok, because in rides Lord Beckett aboard his multi-gunned, multi-decked warship Endeavor. From the pirate side we have the now-dwarfed Black Pearl and, unbeknownst to Beckett, the newly captained Flying Dutchman.
Our heros aboard the Pearl and the Dutchman flank the Endeavor, which to my mind is suicidal after seeing all those impressive cannons. I mean, paranormal powers asside, Endeavor has both ships out-gunned three to one. At the very least the Pearl is about to see and smell the wrong end of Davy Jones' gym shorts!
What happens?
Nothing.
No, that's being too kind. Beckett knows he has our heros cornered, out-manned, out-manuevered, out-gunned. His captain, lieutenant, whatever keeps shouting, "WHAT ARE YOUR ORDERS!?" at a shocked Beckett who can't even manage to say the word fire.
It's not tricky, is it? Fire? One word?
Say it in a crowded movie theater and you'll start a panic. Say it at the beach and you can roast hot dogs. Say it to archers, and they'll look at you blankly. Say it aboard a ship with two enemies in your broadsides and you can crush them beneath your black jack-booted heal!
I demand an inquiry. I demand justice. I demand my money back.
Right now, I have one, count it UNO issue that has tugged at my psuedo-martial heart:
I will take this opportunity to offer you, dead reader a:
SPOILER WARNING
P
O
I
L
E
R
Alright, that's done with.
To set the stage, the two opposing fleets of pirates and the East India Trading Company have faced off in what was supposed to be the naval battle to put all other theatrical naval battles to shame wasn't happing. But that's ok, because in rides Lord Beckett aboard his multi-gunned, multi-decked warship Endeavor. From the pirate side we have the now-dwarfed Black Pearl and, unbeknownst to Beckett, the newly captained Flying Dutchman.
Our heros aboard the Pearl and the Dutchman flank the Endeavor, which to my mind is suicidal after seeing all those impressive cannons. I mean, paranormal powers asside, Endeavor has both ships out-gunned three to one. At the very least the Pearl is about to see and smell the wrong end of Davy Jones' gym shorts!
What happens?
Nothing.
No, that's being too kind. Beckett knows he has our heros cornered, out-manned, out-manuevered, out-gunned. His captain, lieutenant, whatever keeps shouting, "WHAT ARE YOUR ORDERS!?" at a shocked Beckett who can't even manage to say the word fire.
It's not tricky, is it? Fire? One word?
Say it in a crowded movie theater and you'll start a panic. Say it at the beach and you can roast hot dogs. Say it to archers, and they'll look at you blankly. Say it aboard a ship with two enemies in your broadsides and you can crush them beneath your black jack-booted heal!
I demand an inquiry. I demand justice. I demand my money back.
posted by RobRoy @ 9:50 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
And I've heard Alice Cooper demands his cosmetics secrets back from Johnny Depp.. ;)
Hey dude, you've been tagged-
http://desireeerotique.blogspot.com/2007/06/added-to-my-tagged-list.html
Have a great Friday!
Indeeed, it struck me that they movie sepnt a great deal of time setting up just what a bad-ass Beckett and the EITC were, and then...when it seems like the most obvious thing in the world...he freezes? Plus, call me nuts, but I like my triologies to have a sense of closure. The ring is destroyed, Indiana rides off into the sunset, the Machine city yeilds to stupid Neo. This was....not that.
desiree - Thanks for the tag. I now feel very much a part of some gang's territory! ;-)
anonymous - It's painfully obvious that the studio saw an opportunity for more than a trilogy, and with or without Bloom or Knightly, we would come back to see Captain Jack sail. For the next one, I'll wait for DVD . . . maybe.
Post a Comment
<< Home